It has been a while. Lots of life changes have transpired, and while they needed to happen, things have still been a bit tough. I have an immense fear of failure that I’m working through, and it felt like I failed at the one thing I should have succeeded at.
I got a divorce.
Divorce seems to be a dirty word, especially in Christian culture. I get it. I said I didn’t believe in divorce, and I fully intended to keep the vows I made to my husband. In fact, I trudged on when I knew we were growing in different directions because I wanted to be a woman of my word. We tried to compromise to save the marriage numerous times, but it just left both of us unfulfilled. I think we both knew there was a better way, but we were both stubborn for a long time. But here’s the deal:
It’s okay to prioritize your well-being and happiness.
I obviously don’t mean you should get a divorce if your spouse doesn’t cater to every ridiculous and selfish whim. That’s not a thing. I’m saying that if you are not happy and fulfilled in any situation and you have tried to make things work, it’s perfectly fine to do what you need to do to become your best self, because you simply can’t pour from an empty cup.
Social media only saw the “perfect” side of us, because that’s what we wanted y’all to see. We couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing that we weren’t a perfect match. People regularly called us #goals. There were great times in that marriage that I’ll always cherish, but at the end of the day, we couldn’t simultaneously live our best lives and be married. Everyone deserves a chance at their best life, so we took ours. There is no animosity or bitterness, because we both knew what the right decision was. Because we respect each other, we had to let the relationship go so that we could both fulfill our purposes. No drama, no secret scandals, just two people realizing their alternative paths.
There are always alternative paths.
It may not be a marriage you’re struggling with. Maybe you’re not feeling your job, or you feel called to another city. Perhaps your gut is telling you to take a leap of faith and do something that is new and slightly scary. If you are not attaining your life’s purpose on the path you’re currently on, you can change it. We are supposed to thrive, not just survive. If you’re not thriving yet, look inside yourself and make the choices that will allow you to be the absolute best version of you. It may even be painful, but DO IT!
My experience has been positive despite the heartbreak, because I am rediscovering myself and what I need to do to stay on my purpose path. There are parts of me that I need to get reacquainted with, and that’s okay! I may stumble a little in my new life, but I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I urge you to do whatever you need to do to get to where your purpose lies. It’s okay to not have all the answers yet! I know I don’t, and that’s part of the grand adventure.
Cheers to new beginnings!