Tag Archive | positivity

Life After Love

Hey everyone!

It has been a while. Lots of life changes have transpired, and while they needed to happen, things have still been a bit tough. I have an immense fear of failure that I’m working through, and it felt like I failed at the one thing I should have succeeded at.

I got a divorce.

Divorce seems to be a dirty word, especially in Christian culture. I get it. I said I didn’t believe in divorce, and I fully intended to keep the vows I made to my husband. In fact, I trudged on when I knew we were growing in different directions because I wanted to be a woman of my word. We tried to compromise to save the marriage numerous times, but it just left both of us unfulfilled. I think we both knew there was a better way, but we were both stubborn for a long time. But here’s the deal:

It’s okay to prioritize your well-being and happiness.

I obviously don’t mean you should get a divorce if your spouse doesn’t cater to every ridiculous and selfish whim. That’s not a thing. I’m saying that if you are not happy and fulfilled in any situation and you have tried to make things work, it’s perfectly fine to do what you need to do to become your best self, because you simply can’t pour from an empty cup.

Social media only saw the “perfect” side of us, because that’s what we wanted y’all to see. We couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing that we weren’t a perfect match. People regularly called us #goals. There were great times in that marriage that I’ll always cherish, but at the end of the day, we couldn’t simultaneously live our best lives and be married. Everyone deserves a chance at their best life, so we took ours. There is no animosity or bitterness, because we both knew what the right decision was. Because we respect each other, we had to let the relationship go so that we could both fulfill our purposes. No drama, no secret scandals, just two people realizing their alternative paths.

There are always alternative paths.

It may not be a marriage you’re struggling with. Maybe you’re not feeling your job, or you feel called to another city. Perhaps your gut is telling you to take a leap of faith and do something that is new and slightly scary. If you are not attaining your life’s purpose on the path you’re currently on, you can change it. We are supposed to thrive, not just survive. If you’re not thriving yet, look inside yourself and make the choices that will allow you to be the absolute best version of you. It may even be painful, but DO IT!

My experience has been positive despite the heartbreak, because I am rediscovering myself and what I need to do to stay on my purpose path. There are parts of me that I need to get reacquainted with, and that’s okay! I may stumble a little in my new life, but I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I urge you to do whatever you need to do to get to where your purpose lies. It’s okay to not have all the answers yet! I know I don’t, and that’s part of the grand adventure.

Cheers to new beginnings!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€

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Hump Day!

Hey y’all! It’s hump day! Wednesdays are kind of bittersweet to me. At the end of the day, we are officially over the hump and on the downward slope to the weekend. Getting through the day, however, can be a ride on the struggle bus.

I feel like Mondays, though sometimes dreary, are a powerful reset button. It’s a chance to start the week off right and crush it! Since summer started, I have been working on the goals that I put on the back burner during the end of the busy school year, such as quiet time with God, exercise, housework, and this blog, among other things I will announce later. ๐Ÿ˜‰ This Monday was awesome! I did my devotional and Bible study first thing in the morning, went to kickboxing, grocery shopped for the week, started my weekly cleaning project, cooked a delicious dinner, went to Barre 3 with my friends, and did some professional development reading. Tuesday was a similar day, but with a full day of professional development. Today, however, was more of a struggle. It was hard to wake up early for devotional time before my day of professional development. I was tempted to watch TV instead of pushing through cardio dance and then order in instead of cooking the healthy meal I planned. I had to use one of my mom’s favorite phrases to push through:

Being an adult is doing what you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do it.

I listened to my mom’s voice, which frequently finds its way into my head, and I did it all anyway.

Does my story sound familiar to anyone? Does your Monday motivation turn “meh” about midweek? If so, you are not alone! It’s normal to hit the “hump slump,” but it’s not okay to stay there! Your responsibilities don’t end because you’re tired, and self-improvement can’t happen if you grow stagnant after a couple of days. You need consistency to be successful, which means doing the things you know you need to do even when you don’t feel like it.

At this point, you may be thinking that I’m a total slavedriver and that you deserve a rest. If that’s you right now, you’re correct! You DO deserve a rest! As for the other part…hehe, no comment! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m not saying to just push through constantly and never give yourself a reward or a breather! We all need to recharge sometimes. The difference is that you recharge and then get back to work. It’s far too easy to justify laziness to yourself and extend your break to the point of irresponsibility. After I did my professional development sessions today, I met my husband at our favorite coffee shop, had coffee and a delectable croissant, and just chilled for an hour. That was a lovely treat for me, and I felt rejuvenated when it was time to go to the gym!

Here I am with that latte! Yum!! If you haven’t gone to Hank’s in Midtown, check them out! Great coffee with fun and knowledgeable baristas!

Here’s the bottom line: Push through hump day, do what you need to do, but allow yourself a bit of time to recharge when you’re feeling slumpy. I hope y’all had a great Wednesday! You are on the downward slope now, so keep your chins up!

What are your tips for getting through the “hump slump?” Let me know in the comments!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€

Awkward Times

Hello!! So, I was having a conversation with my “teacher BFF” (shoutout to Mandi!!) about awkward conversations with 7th graders! If you teach 7th grade, or have ever known a 7th grader, you know that it is a super awkward part of life! Puberty just makes things weird. The awkwardness is actually something I love, otherwise I’d teach something else! I totally “get” that age group, but there are still times when it is tempting to titter at some of their weird conversations. Whenever I feel the urge to laugh, all I have to do is think of this:

Meet 7th grade Shelby! She wore outfits of literally all pink sometimes, she wore way too much lip gloss, and she signed her school papers as Eponine. Yep, the oh-so-angsty Les Mis character. I guess I identified with her after the most popular guy in our grade asked me to the dance as a joke the year before. I was definitely “on my own.” Yeah, as you can see, I was super cool! NOT!

So if you ever feel like making fun of a middle schooler, just think back to that awkward middle school version of yourself and remember that this strange time is a rite of passage. Those kiddos are pretty awesome, even when they forget their deodorant or make “that’s what she said” jokes TO THEIR TEACHER. (Yep, someone tried it on me). Affirm those crazy heads, and let them know they are loved while providing firm boundaries. One day, they will grow into productive members of society just like we did!

Thanks for reading! Give a middle schooler a high five!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€

The Bravery to Fail

Happy new year, everyone! I hope you had a safe and fun New Years Eve! I know I did! We had two fun parties to attend, and I was definitely the most dressed up! (As always!)

The dress is Lilly and the shoes are Kate Spade, but the accessories are all vintage hand-me-downs from Mom!

As we celebrated, I thought about what my theme for the new year will be! I already selected some things I wanted to do this year, but I love the idea of having a focus all year.

While I am a pretty bold person already, there is always this underlying perfectionism and self-doubt. I was the kid who cried over a B+ in school. I feel that while I am successful in life, I can do so much more if I am brave enough to fail. Putting myself out of my comfort zone means that I may stumble before I rise to the top. However, that is the only way to grow. 2018 will be a year of growth for me as I push myself and rise to the next-level version of me! Stay tuned for some awesome things!

What is your theme for the new year? Let me know!!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€

18 in ’18

So, everyone does these lists of things they want to do by a certain time, right? Sometimes it is okay to jump on the bandwagon! The new year is a day away, and I have been thinking about the goals I want to accomplish and just some fun things I’ve wanted to say yes to for a while. We celebrated my dad’s life and mourned his death in Washington this week, and it was a reminder that life is too short for us to ever hold back. So, without further ado, here are 18 things I want to do in 2018!

1. Write my first book (with my mom!)

2. Apply and get in to a PhD program

3. Choreograph my first school musical

4. Travel somewhere I’ve never been

5. Present at an academic conference

6. Send more thank you notes

7. Cosplay at a convention

8. Write in my Passion Planner all year

9. Cook something from my Harry Potter cookbook

10. Use Groupon when we don’t know where to go for our date

11. Try at least one no-spend weekend

12. Improve my Spanish

13. Go on a romantic getaway with the Hubby

14. Go to at least 3 restaurants on my Chowdown Countdown list

15. Maintain a regular exercise schedule

16. Learn a new skill

17. Attend a formal event

18. Host a tea at Inspirations Tea Room

Some of these are little pleasures in life, while others are milestones. Y’all should always follow your goals and dreams, no matter how ridiculous they may seem to others (like my obsession with food tours of America and tea parties). I am excited to complete this list, starting as soon as tomorrow! Here’s to going out with a bang tonight and starting fresh tomorrow for a brand new year! You never know when life will end, so you might as well live it on your terms and do what you know you are capable of! I am excited to share more about the things I cross off the list!

This is my excited face! ๐Ÿ˜›

Comment and let me know what you want to accomplish in 2018!

See you next year! ๐Ÿ˜‰

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€

Change Your Negatives to Positives! ย 

Hi there!! Before we start here, I want to throw out a DISCLAIMER: I am not speaking to people who have chemical imbalances and cannot combat negativity without some outside help. I know that mental illness is something different, and that needs to be validated. For all y’all struggling with it, I love you and am here for you. Okay, now we can get on with my thoughts! 

I co-teach in 7th grade math, and we have been going over positive and negative numbers. When you are adding a positive and a negative integer together, you subtract, but keep the sign of the bigger number. Blah, blah, blah. I know, why am I giving you a math lesson right now? Because it totally applies to life! 

When negative things happen, some of your positivity is obviously subtracted. However, we must make sure that the positive in our lives is always the bigger of the two so that our life stays joyful instead of crossing over to the dark side! 

Yeah, okay. Easier said than done. Duh! No one ever said life was easy! We all have times in which positivity seems unattainable, but we can do our best to put positive spins on negative situations. I am going through some private stuff that is difficult (and keeping it out of social media) and I have to choose positivity in order to be successful, since it’s a situation I cannot control. In those instances, attitude needs to be a conscious choice because it’s the only part you can control. Just like I choose to go to the gym in the morning and to keep attending professional developments, I choose to keep my mindset healthy!

Since this is not my chosen place to talk about the super personal stuff, I will give an example of a professional negative I turned into a positive. I teach an evening ESL class to adults as one of my side hustles, and it has been difficult to get the majority of my class to be on time because of their jobs and/or kids. Not always their fault, but still a bit frustrating. I was thinking of ways to turn it around, so I decided to make the first 15 minutes of each class into a fun warm-up activity. Since they are learning about American culture as newcomers, I start with fun information and discussion questions about the obscure holiday of the day! Today was national tourism day, and the other day was hamburger day! This fixed my problem of having to start and stop my content lessons, because the beginning activities are more relaxed and conversation-based, while still allowing them to practice their language skills and cultural knowledge. It has also given some people the initiative to get to class on time, because they never want to miss the silly holidays and conversations! It’s a win-win, and an example of spinning a negative situation into a positive one! 


If you’re still feeling down after all that, maybe a PSL will do the trick! Works for me!

How do you turn your negatives into positives? Let me know!! See you soon!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€