Tag Archive | self-love

Life After Love

Hey everyone!

It has been a while. Lots of life changes have transpired, and while they needed to happen, things have still been a bit tough. I have an immense fear of failure that I’m working through, and it felt like I failed at the one thing I should have succeeded at.

I got a divorce.

Divorce seems to be a dirty word, especially in Christian culture. I get it. I said I didn’t believe in divorce, and I fully intended to keep the vows I made to my husband. In fact, I trudged on when I knew we were growing in different directions because I wanted to be a woman of my word. We tried to compromise to save the marriage numerous times, but it just left both of us unfulfilled. I think we both knew there was a better way, but we were both stubborn for a long time. But here’s the deal:

It’s okay to prioritize your well-being and happiness.

I obviously don’t mean you should get a divorce if your spouse doesn’t cater to every ridiculous and selfish whim. That’s not a thing. I’m saying that if you are not happy and fulfilled in any situation and you have tried to make things work, it’s perfectly fine to do what you need to do to become your best self, because you simply can’t pour from an empty cup.

Social media only saw the “perfect” side of us, because that’s what we wanted y’all to see. We couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing that we weren’t a perfect match. People regularly called us #goals. There were great times in that marriage that I’ll always cherish, but at the end of the day, we couldn’t simultaneously live our best lives and be married. Everyone deserves a chance at their best life, so we took ours. There is no animosity or bitterness, because we both knew what the right decision was. Because we respect each other, we had to let the relationship go so that we could both fulfill our purposes. No drama, no secret scandals, just two people realizing their alternative paths.

There are always alternative paths.

It may not be a marriage you’re struggling with. Maybe you’re not feeling your job, or you feel called to another city. Perhaps your gut is telling you to take a leap of faith and do something that is new and slightly scary. If you are not attaining your life’s purpose on the path you’re currently on, you can change it. We are supposed to thrive, not just survive. If you’re not thriving yet, look inside yourself and make the choices that will allow you to be the absolute best version of you. It may even be painful, but DO IT!

My experience has been positive despite the heartbreak, because I am rediscovering myself and what I need to do to stay on my purpose path. There are parts of me that I need to get reacquainted with, and that’s okay! I may stumble a little in my new life, but I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I urge you to do whatever you need to do to get to where your purpose lies. It’s okay to not have all the answers yet! I know I don’t, and that’s part of the grand adventure.

Cheers to new beginnings!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€

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My Before Pics!

As someone who grew up dancing, I always thought about my body and my weight. As with so many dancers, it became a bit unhealthy, and was one of the contributing factors in my decision not to dance professionally. That being said, I have enjoyed my life greatly since only dancing for fun, and part of that was indulging in pretty much anything I felt like eating. That’s not healthy either, so one of my goals this year is to work on my fitness in a positive way and eat more healthy things every day, while still having occasional treats!

Every time I have made fitness/eating goals in the past, they have been based on weight, size, and restriction. I would make a goal to lose exactly 10 pounds, or to go back to a size 2. These types of goals may work for a lot of people, but for me, they diminished the self-love that I know I’m worth (and so are y’all)! So this year is different! My only fitness goal is to find a consistent routine that feels good and works for me. My food goal is to plan delicious and nutritious meals, and to just add more fruits and vegetables to replace some of those McNuggets and pastries! No weight goal, no size goal, no crazy restrictions. All of that will fall into place if I am giving my body some love! That being said, I will be taking pictures to track the changes this creates in my body. Here are my before pics! Yes, I know you can’t see my stomach. Y’all, I don’t even own a bikini. Not happening! ๐Ÿ˜›

Though I am tempted to criticize what I see here today and beat myself up over all the times I skipped the gym and ate something naughty, I’m choosing to love my body throughout the journey! If you are struggling, remember that God (or whatever you may believe in) made all of us beautiful in different ways! We can always improve ourselves, but we should improve with self-love in EVERY stage, and not just the end result. Easier said than done, I know! ๐Ÿ˜‚

How do you feel about fitness goals? Do you have any for the new year? Also, advice on what has worked for you is so welcome! I’d love some comments!! Thanks for reading!

๐Ÿ’•Shelby๐ŸŽ€